Self-Care

It’s easy to put yourself last in the never-ending race to keep up with life.  Maybe you’re like me, and you think that you’ll have time to take proper care of yourself later when life settles down.

The thing I’ve finally learned is that life never settles down.  Just when you think you’ll have a breather, it either doesn’t come, or it is over all too quickly.

If you continue to put your needs behind those of everyone else, you will suffer – whether in mind, body, spirit, or purpose.

Today is the day to make self-care a priority.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor.  Any information that I share below is based on personal experience and is not meant as a substitute for medical advice.

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Self-Care for Your Mind

I’m not an expert on self-care, but I’ve found several practices that help me when I become stressed, anxious, or chronically busy.

1. Intentionally consume less.  Remove social apps and most notifications from your phone.  Turn off your mobile data and limit your phone usage when at home.  Cut back on streaming services.  With so many “must-see” shows and movies today, replace the fear of missing out (FOMO) with the joy of missing out (JOMO).
2. Limit your news.  We were never meant to have access to a 24/7 worldwide news cycle that is weighted much more heavily on the wrongs in the world than the everyday wonders.  The majority of my news comes from two sources: World Watch (a ten-minute news program on weekdays) and The Pour Over (an email newsletter on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays).
3. Start reading again.  Whether you prefer actual books, e-books, or audiobooks, make reading a priority.  You can read for pleasure or the pursuit of knowledge.
4. Practice gratitude. Be thankful on a daily basis.  Look around you and identify the people or things which enhance your life.  Say “thank you” in person, with a card, or both.
5. Chase contentment. I know this sounds like an oxymoron, but we often have to work hard at being content in our circumstances.  Choosing contentment doesn’t mean giving up on wants and needs.  Choosing contentment allows us to fully live in the here and now.
6. Learn about temperaments. Discover how you’re uniquely wired with certain innate strengths and weaknesses.  Use that knowledge to your benefit.
7. Deal with your past. Learn to let go and live in the present.  For me, I did a 12-step program through our church called Re:generation.
8. Breathe deeply.  Recently I’ve noticed that when I begin to feel anxious, slow deep breaths really are effective at calming my nerves.  While this advice is not new, it only works if you practice it.

Self-Care for Your Body

For years I put my own health on the back burner, dealing with it when issues popped up and then ignoring it again.  My journey to find diagnoses for my mysterious symptoms has not been easy, but I have learned to prioritize self-care of the body.

1. Don’t give up. It’s hard when your body reacts to things, and you don’t know why.  I encourage you to keep pressing forward.  It took me seven years to discover my diagnosis of hidradenitis suppurativa (acne inversa). Along the way I also discovered that I had May-Thurner Syndrome.
2. Check in with your doctor regularly. When my husband and I switched to a direct primary care doctor a few years ago, we began having yearly checkups.  Through blood tests we discovered that my husband has iron overload.  Thankfully, this discovery was made early enough in life that he should be able to alleviate the symptoms and long-term effects with regular blood donations.  Good nutrition and some supplements may also help.  We’re still in the learning phase with this diagnosis.
3. Educate yourself.  Much of the non-fiction that I read is health-related especially as I navigate my forties and all the changes that come with aging.  As one might expect, the health books don’t always agree one hundred percent, but the more I read, the more potential links like insulin resistance begin to stand out.
4. Advocate for yourself. When something isn’t right in your body, you know it.  Don’t just brush your symptoms aside even if your doctors cannot name the ailment or identify the root cause.  Keep looking for clues.  Keep taking steps toward a healthier lifestyle even when you don’t have a treatment plan.
5. Nourish your body.  I’m a firm believer that a change in diet can lead to drastic health changes.  This belief began in my high school years when I watched “First Do No Harm,” a made-for-TV movie starring Meryl Streep.  Many years later I implemented the GAPS diet for our toddler after he developed eczema.  In addition, I’ve found relief from hidradenitis suppurativa through an elimination diet that helps me pinpoint my triggers.
6. Know that your body is unique. Many health experts create plans for diet and exercise that may or may not work well for you.  Just because something worked for someone else does not mean it is the right fit for you.  For example, the elimination diet for hidradenitis suppurativa recommends eliminating nightshades (e.g., peppers, potatoes, tomatoes, etc.) for a time.  This is because many people with this condition react to at least one nightshade, but they do not react to all of them.
7. Take charge of your fitness.  Working out was always something I wanted to do for myself but never did.  Then I got a glance at my potential future when my dad suffered numerous health issues in 2022.  Upon returning from his final two-week hospital stay, I finally became serious about fitness.  I’ve been rowing with purpose ever since, and I feel so much better overall.
8. Find skincare and haircare products with “clean” ingredients. What you put on your body matters just as much as what you eat.  Your skin is your largest organ, and it absorbs the products you put on it.  Switching to natural versions of shampoo, soap, lotions, and other toiletries isn’t always easy.  You’re likely to have a lot of trial and error before you find substitutes that are affordable and work well.
9. Learn to appreciate your own reflection. If you’re like me, you haven’t always felt comfortable with your appearance.  In addition to never feeling comfortable wearing makeup, I’ve never really had any style.  Having a daughter who enjoys fashion prompted me to work harder on my wardrobe.  As I’ve switched my clothes to my color palette and prioritized pieces that work together, I have much more confidence in my appearance.

Self-Care for Your Spirit

As a follower of Jesus, my highest purpose is my relationship with God.  Yet I often allow the busyness of life to distract me from what is truly worthwhile.  Whether you are a believer or are still searching, spiritual self-care is a necessity.

1. Draw close to God.  My pastor always says that we draw closer to God through His Word, His Spirit, and His people.
2. Read the Bible. The best way to get to know God is to read His Word.  I’ll admit that some parts of the Bible are difficult to understand, but the majority is not.  The New Testament and the Psalms are a great place to start.
3. Keep a prayer journal. Once I began writing prayer requests in a five-year prayer journal I became more consistent with prayer.
4. Connect with other believers. My faith is strengthened when I am with other believers.
5. See the humanity in everyone.  We are all created by God.  Seek to serve and pray for those around you whether you agree with them or not.
6. Speak life. Use virtue words that build up rather than vice words that tear down. An example is teaching a child to be honest rather than saying, “Don’t lie.”
7. Focus on life-giving media. Our hearts reflect what we take in.  Whether in music, books, podcasts, television, or movies choose media that speaks life into your heart and home.

Self-Care for Your Sense of Purpose

When we lose our focus on self-care, we also risk losing our sense of purpose.  The practices listed below help me when my purpose seems unclear.

1. Care for others. We were meant for community.  Forming connections and helping others enhances our sense of purpose.  For me this often involves making meals for families in our community when the need arises.  At other times it looks like changing my plans to talk to a friend who is suffering with a heavy heart.
2. Share your story. We live in a socially connected world that can often feel lonely.  When we share our real stories – the ones that don’t hide faults and fears – we encourage others to do the same.  Although being vulnerable can feel scary, it opens doors of understanding and brings us closer together.
3. Desire the best for others. Somewhere in my thirties I finally matured to a stage in life where I could truly say that I wanted the best for others – even for those who had achieved more than me or had caused hurt in the past.  It is so refreshing to feel joy rather than jealousy or angst.
4. Find your motivation. We all need consistent motivation to keep our focus so that we can achieve our purpose.  When I struggled to workout consistently, I decided to motivate myself with money.  This method has worked for me for more than two years.  Experiment with healthy ways to motivate yourself.

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